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Have you ever made more money than ever and still felt like you were one letter away from it all falling apart?
Right now I’m earning more than I ever have in my life, and I’m on what Dave Ramsey would call a beans and rice budget. Both of those things are true at the same time. I used to assume that once you hit a certain number, the money stuff would settle down and you’d finally get to breathe. It didn’t.
In this episode, I share the three hits that landed in the same couple of months. First, a used Jeep I bought my son off Facebook Marketplace threw a rod five days later, because the seller had disguised the motor knock. That was $21,000 by the time it was fixed. Then a certified letter about child support came with $11,000 in back support, followed by a second letter saying we’re going to court. Then a client opted out of a deal at work and I had to pay back $10,000 in commission.
Some of this is just math, and I want to be clear about that. Your budget is tight because your budget is tight. No amount of journaling makes a certified letter disappear. But the fear didn’t start with the Jeep or the letter. It started a long time before there was a paycheck at all, with a little girl watching her Papa’s checks get torn up and rewritten, learning that if she wanted to feel safe, she’d better be the one holding the checkbook.
I don’t have a neat ending for this one. The court stuff isn’t resolved, I’m still on beans and rice, and the Jeep’s check engine light is still on. But I’m starting to see why getting through a hard season feels so much more familiar to me than feeling safe.
In this episode:
- How I can earn six figures and still be counting cash into envelopes.
- The rule of three: a Jeep, a certified letter, and a commission clawback.
- Why some of this is just math, and why it’s not all in your head.
- The money story I grew up with, and the checkbook lesson I learned early.
- The escrow letter that made me sell my kids’ home, and the first time I noticed the paycheck had changed but the feeling hadn’t.
- How the Controller pattern shows up with money.
- What it’s like to tell teenagers that steak isn’t in the budget right now.
Something to consider this week:
Name one specific thing that would make you feel safer with money. Not “more money” in a vague way, but something you can point to: a savings number, a weekly money date, or a conversation you’ve been avoiding. Then notice whether what you named is a number or a feeling. A number can help with a lot, but if what you really want is to stop bracing, or to not carry it all alone, your next step might be a conversation more than another spreadsheet.
Find the leaks in your budget
The 30-Minute Money Leak Finder walks you through finding the leaks in your budget in about 30 minutes.
Discover your perfectionism pattern
Take the free Perfection Hangover Archetype Quiz to put words to the patterns running underneath your money decisions. In this episode I talk about the Controller. What’s your result?
If a friend came to mind while you listened, send her this episode. It might start a conversation you both need.
