One in four Americans are currently in a “relationship rut,” according to new research.
A survey of 2,000 Americans in a serious relationship explored the highs and lows of love and found that 26% currently believe their partnership needs some rejuvenation.
Thirty-four percent admit they’ve previously faced a relationship rut — and the survey looked at some of the common signs people need to reignite the spark with their partner.
Key indicators of a rut include fewer romantic gestures or moments (50%), less passionate, routine sex (46%), boredom in the bedroom (32%) and a lack of conversation (41%).
Others find themselves daydreaming about other people or partners (24%) or notice their partner has commented less on their appearance (23%).
With this current rut lasting an average of nearly 10 months, and 55% even admitting it’s been more than a year, 63% are concerned these instances could foreshadow the end of their relationship if there isn’t some intervention soon.
Conducted by Talker Research on behalf of Lovense, there is hope — and the survey also explored how couples keep the spark alive.
Communication and New Activities Help Revive Love
An additional 34% have found their relationship in a rut in years past and these couples worked on their communication (62%) as well as focused on trying new things together (43%). For a little more than a third (36%), these methods were effective.
Results found that only 30% of couples frequently try new things in the bedroom, and nearly half (48%) admit they only have sex between one and five times during an average month.
In fact, only about a third (32%) would grade the spiciness of their intimate encounters between an “A+” and an “A-”. Thirteen percent would even downright give it an “F.”
Taking things a step further, three in five (60%) say their current partner is the best they’ve ever had in the bedroom.
The survey also explored how long-distance relationships impact intimacy. According to the results, 31% are either currently or have been in a long-distance relationship and 20% believe those relationships are “spicier” than normal relationships. For nearly all of those respondents (83%) technology plays an integral role in staying connected to their partner.
“Technology isn't just for long-distance relationships — it can help couples break free from routines and add excitement to their intimacy,” said Dan Liu, Lovense CEO. “When relationships fall into predictability, tech offers a way to reintroduce novelty and creativity, helping partners rediscover connection and pleasure.
“It’s not about replacing human interaction, but enhancing it and keeping things fresh, whether together or apart.”
When asked the most effective or unique way they enhance bedroom intimacy with their partner, respondents shared some surprising approaches. One respondent said, “first by just relaxing together and letting the world go away,” while another said “whipped cream and strawberries.”
Toys such as blindfolds and mood enhancements such as candles or music were also popular answers.
Long-Distance Relationships May Bring More Spice
Couples are also introducing technology into the bedroom by using toys (24%), lights (21%) and playlists (13%).
“After being together for years or even decades, it’s natural for couples to settle into a routine — and many find it challenging to reignite that initial spark. But keeping a long-term relationship exciting doesn’t have to be complicated,” said Liu. “Sometimes, small changes — like introducing technology into the bedroom — can create fresh experiences and bring back that sense of intimacy and connection.
“We’ve seen time and time again how a little innovation can make a big difference in helping couples rediscover intimacy and create new, memorable moments together.”
Survey methodology:
Talker Research surveyed 2,000 Americans in a serious relationship; the survey was commissioned by Lovense and administered and conducted online by Talker Research between March 24 to March 30, 2025.
